First let me say....

 I love this story!!! It  sounds like it could be made into a real live action film.

However,

I would encourage you to keep on writing the story since you have an amazing ability to write and capture the attention of your audience. The story plot defiantly has great twists to it which shows it's well structured. In my opinion as a reader, I would continue on reading this novel and recommend it to others whom are interested in Science Fiction.

-Jfine2003