If Notch Was...

[Chief149]

I would stick my tongue in his mouth and give him my phone number.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc



I would ask Notch what the hell he was thinking when he decided to make Minecraft (and the minecraft server) mono-threaded instead of being smart and multithreading that shit. I mean cmon, if redstone processing alone could be added to its own thread away from the main thread then Leganie's farm wouldn't have been able to lag the server every time he would harvest pumpkins (and pumpkins would still be in the market).

[PsYk0Wo1F]

in spoiler tags and because parental guidance too long read potato.

(click to show/hide)

I would take him out to dinner for two for a bit of romance. we would pass a hobo along the way
and both laugh at his misfortune. Once we arrive at the resteraunt we would discover we are unable
to get in without a reservation, so i shall proceed to seduce the waiter into giving us a table.
as we sit down i shall compliment him on the beauty of his appearance, and his brilliant mind.
we shall have wine, and champagne, and a romantic dinner for two of spaghetti and meat balls.
as we are leaving i shall invite him back to my house to make the perfect ending to a romantic night out.
On the way we shall pass the same hobo and laugh at him yet again, before reaching my house, to realise
im locked out. Then i shall throw a rock through the front window, and crawl in to unlock the door.
then replace the window with cardboard. Afterwards i shall invite him into my room where we shall lay in bed
watching TV and hugging each other. i shall slowly move my hand downwards to his Nether regions, only to
discover a zombie pigman and two ghasts. I decide to go there later. Instead, i go around to his Nether portal
only to discover this just leads back to his Nether regions. welp, this isnt working.
I kiss him and give him a sensual back rub, then we both get naked, and begin to make hot passionate
love overnight. I then realise that he is a guy, and im a guy, and this is gay, but totally not gay and
awkward so its fine. In the morning i wake up to him next to me, putting a pick axe through his nether
portal and lolwut only to realise im locked in his dungeon, chained up to the wall, with pigs around the room
and skeletons on the wall. Steve is attached to a bondage machine, and is being violated.
A giant hotdog flies through the air and hit's me in the face. then i wake up.

[SalasCraft]

in spoiler tags and because parental guidance too long read potato.

(click to show/hide)

I would take him out to dinner for two for a bit of romance. we would pass a hobo along the way
and both laugh at his misfortune. Once we arrive at the resteraunt we would discover we are unable
to get in without a reservation, so i shall proceed to seduce the waiter into giving us a table.
as we sit down i shall compliment him on the beauty of his appearance, and his brilliant mind.
we shall have wine, and champagne, and a romantic dinner for two of spaghetti and meat balls.
as we are leaving i shall invite him back to my house to make the perfect ending to a romantic night out.
On the way we shall pass the same hobo and laugh at him yet again, before reaching my house, to realise
im locked out. Then i shall throw a rock through the front window, and crawl in to unlock the door.
then replace the window with cardboard. Afterwards i shall invite him into my room where we shall lay in bed
watching TV and hugging each other. i shall slowly move my hand downwards to his Nether regions, only to
discover a zombie pigman and two ghasts. I decide to go there later. Instead, i go around to his Nether portal
only to discover this just leads back to his Nether regions. welp, this isnt working.
I kiss him and give him a sensual back rub, then we both get naked, and begin to make hot passionate
love overnight. I then realise that he is a guy, and im a guy, and this is gay, but totally not gay and
awkward so its fine. In the morning i wake up to him next to me, putting a pick axe through his nether
portal and lolwut only to realise im locked in his dungeon, chained up to the wall, with pigs around the room
and skeletons on the wall. Steve is attached to a bondage machine, and is being violated.
A giant hotdog flies through the air and hit's me in the face. then i wake up.

I just read the first and last sentence and I wasn't too sure what was going on.

[PsYk0Wo1F]

in spoiler tags and because parental guidance too long read potato.

(click to show/hide)

I would take him out to dinner for two for a bit of romance. we would pass a hobo along the way
and both laugh at his misfortune. Once we arrive at the resteraunt we would discover we are unable
to get in without a reservation, so i shall proceed to seduce the waiter into giving us a table.
as we sit down i shall compliment him on the beauty of his appearance, and his brilliant mind.
we shall have wine, and champagne, and a romantic dinner for two of spaghetti and meat balls.
as we are leaving i shall invite him back to my house to make the perfect ending to a romantic night out.
On the way we shall pass the same hobo and laugh at him yet again, before reaching my house, to realise
im locked out. Then i shall throw a rock through the front window, and crawl in to unlock the door.
then replace the window with cardboard. Afterwards i shall invite him into my room where we shall lay in bed
watching TV and hugging each other. i shall slowly move my hand downwards to his Nether regions, only to
discover a zombie pigman and two ghasts. I decide to go there later. Instead, i go around to his Nether portal
only to discover this just leads back to his Nether regions. welp, this isnt working.
I kiss him and give him a sensual back rub, then we both get naked, and begin to make hot passionate
love overnight. I then realise that he is a guy, and im a guy, and this is gay, but totally not gay and
awkward so its fine. In the morning i wake up to him next to me, putting a pick axe through his nether
portal and lolwut only to realise im locked in his dungeon, chained up to the wall, with pigs around the room
and skeletons on the wall. Steve is attached to a bondage machine, and is being violated.
A giant hotdog flies through the air and hit's me in the face. then i wake up.

I just read the first and last sentence and I wasn't too sure what was going on.

my awesome story is awesome (Y)

[Duinis]

in spoiler tags and because parental guidance too long read potato.

(click to show/hide)

I would take him out to dinner for two for a bit of romance. we would pass a hobo along the way
and both laugh at his misfortune. Once we arrive at the resteraunt we would discover we are unable
to get in without a reservation, so i shall proceed to seduce the waiter into giving us a table.
as we sit down i shall compliment him on the beauty of his appearance, and his brilliant mind.
we shall have wine, and champagne, and a romantic dinner for two of spaghetti and meat balls.
as we are leaving i shall invite him back to my house to make the perfect ending to a romantic night out.
On the way we shall pass the same hobo and laugh at him yet again, before reaching my house, to realise
im locked out. Then i shall throw a rock through the front window, and crawl in to unlock the door.
then replace the window with cardboard. Afterwards i shall invite him into my room where we shall lay in bed
watching TV and hugging each other. i shall slowly move my hand downwards to his Nether regions, only to
discover a zombie pigman and two ghasts. I decide to go there later. Instead, i go around to his Nether portal
only to discover this just leads back to his Nether regions. welp, this isnt working.
I kiss him and give him a sensual back rub, then we both get naked, and begin to make hot passionate
love overnight. I then realise that he is a guy, and im a guy, and this is gay, but totally not gay and
awkward so its fine. In the morning i wake up to him next to me, putting a pick axe through his nether
portal and lolwut only to realise im locked in his dungeon, chained up to the wall, with pigs around the room
and skeletons on the wall. Steve is attached to a bondage machine, and is being violated.
A giant hotdog flies through the air and hit's me in the face. then i wake up.

I just read the first and last sentence and I wasn't too sure what was going on.

my awesome story is awesome (Y)

 I read the whole thing. Now I'm scared to talk to you, Psyko...
I would ask him when the hell is he gonna release 1.3, or maybe if the enderdragon egg will ever have a use, or maybe just slam my face on the ground and grovel to him.

[PsYk0Wo1F]

the name isnt psyk0 for nothing. LOL

[hennydeez]

in spoiler tags and because parental guidance too long read potato.

(click to show/hide)

I would take him out to dinner for two for a bit of romance. we would pass a hobo along the way
and both laugh at his misfortune. Once we arrive at the resteraunt we would discover we are unable
to get in without a reservation, so i shall proceed to seduce the waiter into giving us a table.
as we sit down i shall compliment him on the beauty of his appearance, and his brilliant mind.
we shall have wine, and champagne, and a romantic dinner for two of spaghetti and meat balls.
as we are leaving i shall invite him back to my house to make the perfect ending to a romantic night out.
On the way we shall pass the same hobo and laugh at him yet again, before reaching my house, to realise
im locked out. Then i shall throw a rock through the front window, and crawl in to unlock the door.
then replace the window with cardboard. Afterwards i shall invite him into my room where we shall lay in bed
watching TV and hugging each other. i shall slowly move my hand downwards to his Nether regions, only to
discover a zombie pigman and two ghasts. I decide to go there later. Instead, i go around to his Nether portal
only to discover this just leads back to his Nether regions. welp, this isnt working.
I kiss him and give him a sensual back rub, then we both get naked, and begin to make hot passionate
love overnight. I then realise that he is a guy, and im a guy, and this is gay, but totally not gay and
awkward so its fine. In the morning i wake up to him next to me, putting a pick axe through his nether
portal and lolwut only to realise im locked in his dungeon, chained up to the wall, with pigs around the room
and skeletons on the wall. Steve is attached to a bondage machine, and is being violated.
A giant hotdog flies through the air and hit's me in the face. then i wake up.

Insane in the membrane

[Coolcrab88]

I would silently get my rifle out...
I would go around to his back...
And I would shoot him, shouting:
"You shouldn't have handed Minecraft over to Jeb, ya fudging female dog!"
Justice
Trololololololololololololololololol!

O.o

[impishmonkey]

If Notch was in front of me... I would probably not notice, but if I did... I'd thank him for ruining my life and ask what he was doing sitting on my computer, and to please move so I could keep playing minecraft. xD

[Cyan of the Griffins]

I would yell at him for not releasing a free Minecraft,
Then yell at him for not at least releasing a demo,
Then ask him why the blazes he never shows his face in classic,
And then ask him for his autograph .

[Owlgirl66]

If I saw Notch in front of me, I would say Hello

[mini25252525]

Yolo
You Only Live Once
So I would ask why there are no people in the game and realize there are then face palm myself and run away and cry in a closet

[5OO]

If he was standing in front of me I would ask him why he's in my room. Joking aside, I would probably ask him his future plans for minecraft, and gaming in general.

[techdude98]

if notch was standing in front of me i would tell him what all of you guys would do he was standing in front of them, and then watch as he slowly pulls out a revolver and shoots himself in the head.