So we read this short story called The Lottery (google if you want) and we were assigned to make an alternate ending along with a picture (I'll post that later). I made by far the best one and it might win the competition for best ending meaning I could get a shitload of homework passes. The following is exactly as is. Here goes:
(SPOILER ALERT: Small amount of context, winner of the lottery is stoned to death. Sorry for the spoiler)
Tessie holds up her marked card. She then whispers something into her wrist. Shortly after, just before the villagers begin throwing stones, a very large glowing object appears in the sky. As it hovers, aliens and predators drop down and mass chaos ensues. A massive battle between aliens, predators, dinosaurs, giant purple rice-eating pancakes, monkeys, Sasquatch, and Godzilla starts as Tessie rides on Godzilla into battle. Another UFO appears and an army of stormtroopers and Darth Vader take over the village. There are lasers everywhere, dinosaurs killing eachother, Julius Cesar is eating a Cesar salad and Jesus is riding on a golden dinosaur. A huge object falls from the sky and as it hits the floor, something mysterious happened.
(Great way of building suspense by doing almost nothing)
(The weather sure is nice today)
(I just want an excuse to put something in parentheses)
(I like salsa)
Nothing.
Then a second object falls from the sky and it explodes into a giant blue chicken which is shortly turned into a big KFC meal after The Colonel (Colonel Sanders from KFC) kills it. A huge golden burrito falls from the sky and nukes the whole village. Tessie and Jesus (along with Godzilla and his golden dinosaur) ride off into the sunset and Tessie pulls out cool sunglasses. Then Godzilla dies because obviously the Sun is very hot. Golden dinosaurs don’t burn up because simply the fact they are golden (ironically, this is actually the reason it should melt. But that doesn’t matter, because I can do whatever I want with my story). Jesus doesn’t burn up because of the fact he is Jesus and can do whatever he wants. Tessie lives simply because I want her to live so it creates irony for the fact she was originally the only one who died in the original ending but now she is (almost) the only one who (I like parentheses) lives. I live because I am the narrator and I have no involvement in the story and also because I can do whatever I want to the story because I am the narrator. Morgan Freeman lives because he is awesome and he can make any phrase cool by having him say it no matter how stupid it sounds. The end.
